Guess who's back!: Peep this....

Hello...hello...is anybody out there? LOL. I know its been a minute, but I am back. Sorry for the delay. Let me jump right in. This is what motivated me to write:
i was getting a haircut earlier and was having a conversation with my barber and good friend Tariq. Tariq was telling me about an ex girlfriend he had in his hometown. He was telling me that they had caught up, been communicating, and really thinking about seeing each other again. Tariq went on to say that during their last conversation, she said something to the affect of, " When are you gonna get me outta here and bring me to Atlanta." I asked him how did he feel about that. It bugged him out. He was telling me that she is cool, and he likes her BUT, she don't look as good as he would like. He said that she was really sweet and good people BUT he can't afford to bring another person into his house. He said they were elementary school sweethearts. I then told him that he didn't even know that chic. Its been years since he's seen her. Plus he's really grown spiritually over the past year and a half. He agreed, but said he really liked her, BUT he just wasn't sure. THIS IS WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT TOOK OVER. The spirit talked to me, and I know it was him, because I felt his presence. I was staring straight ahead, and things got blurry. I heard some words, and then things started to get back in focus. Right before they got back in focus I said to him out loud, " Stop making excuses for that other chic.You know, when GOD brings you your wife, you won't be saying BUT, you'll be saying AND. My wife is beautiful AND she has a great job, AND she loves GOD, AND she goes to church more than I do, AND she loves to cook my favorite meal, AND she looks perfect, AND she has a lot to bring to the TABLE! etc, etc." Tariq quickly added," God shall supply all my needs AND these things shall be added unto you!" We both started to laugh in the barbershop. Then we just kinda smiled and stared into space for like ten minutes.
I just knew I had to share that with as many people as I could.
God is a multiplier, not a subtractor! He will bring people into your life to ADD to your gifts, talents, etc...not take away from you or use you. Check your circle out!
(That's all I have to say about that!)

DAY'S TWO & THREE

WHEW! It has been a rough couple of days people. Ever since I've decided to attack my weaknesses, I've had people get mad at me, misunderstand me, disappear on me (I miss ya"ll by the way), and at the same time , I've had people encourage me, uplift me, and even kick me in the butt to make sure I stay focused. I got these emails a little while ago. They made me immediately come to the blog:

RE: DAY ONE)
What a blessing. Thx for sharing Bro. When you are honest like that, you steal the power from Satan. He has nothing to hold over your head. That's just the beginning of your healing.....TRUST me....I know!
Love ya,
Andrea

You need to know something ..... Very few people have the ability, desire, concern or the sense to want to better themselves. You are already healed. and I repeat... You are already healed.. How Russ?
There was a day... That you didn't give a #$%& about:
-what people thought
-How they felt about you
-What GOD thought...... (that's a deep one)
-How the girl you "HIT" felt when you never called back
-If your steps were in order....etc, because the list can go on.
Now that I have your attention... GOD actually wants you to heal others!!! By your words, you are doing JUST that. By being transparent your are doing JUST that... By sharing, caring and daring, you are doing JUST that. By capturing the "MOMENT" when you take pictures... you are doing JUST that. Your gift is incredible and its about to get better.

Your Big Little Brother, Russ
PS.. Tell Pops I said hello...

God has been really making me deal with ME! Ha....As I write this, I am reflecting on the way I felt this weekend. I felt alone. I know I am changing because the vice's that I used to have to get me through my periods of loneliness no longer appeal to me. WOW. While I was in the middle of it, I couldn't figure it out, but now on the other side, I can see it plainly. I am in the middle of a process. THANK YOU GOD for opening my eyes. I was motivated to write this blog today for several reasons. I did not FEEL like doing it. However, I have recognized that I am at my best when I am here....on the blog.....talking to who ever feels like reading. LOL PURGING.

QUESTION: What do you do when you feel alone or at your lowest point?
I tried to pray, but couldn't find the words. I wanted to pray in tongues, but every time I tried, my stomach hurt and I couldn't open my mouth. Then I figured, since GOD knows everything I am going thru and feeling, I won't bother HIM anyway, I'll just call my best friends. That's what they are there for! So I called them, and couldn't get thru. All road kept leading back to GOD. I finally got thru to my sister Trina. After explaining how I was feeling, the first thing she asked me was, "Did you pray?" I told her I didn't exactly pray...but I just started to talk to HIM, like he was a passenger in my car. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was a form of prayer. I just started talking to GOD and letting HIM know exactly where I was and how I was feeling. Low and behold, I felt better after letting it go. I am truly understanding the saying, "Let go and let GOD." I gave it to HIM and now HE has the responsibility of giving me my hearts desire. That was HIS promise to US.

****
Keeping it 100: I am a spoiled brat!!!! OK..I said it!!!
I want, what I want, when I want it! That was a huge part of this weekend. I have some questions that I need answers to. There is only one person that can give them to me. It just so happens that, this one person I couldn't find all weekend. My brother Destin told me in no uncertain terms, "You are the type of cat that wants answers now. You're upset because you can't get them when you want them. Looks like you can't get them on COREY TIME. You're going to have to be patient!"

So, looks like I have to re-learn the lesson of patience! Thalia...any suggestions? :O)

A Brand New 28 Days-DAY ONE

Hello blog family. It is such a good feeling to be blogging again. I have decided to start another 28 days. This time, I am going to assume that things will be a little different. I am going to be dealing with some of my deepest thoughts, regrets, mistakes.....trying to see if I've learned from them. The other day, I asked GOD to give me the ok, or the push to start blogging again. I believe he asked me, what will be different this time? Did you really CHANGE? My mind was blown away. I had to ask myself, did I really change? So then I started going down the list of things that I know I've done in the past that were wrong...and I weighed them against the things that I am still doing to this day that are wrong. WHOA! Talk about dealing with the truth! I have done everything wrong at least twice except kill someone! I am blogging for deliverance this time. I am blogging to get smarter. I am blogging to get healed.

I am blogging to share how GOD will show my how I continue to repeat old mistakes, how to STOP repeating them, and more importantly, how to forgive myself for making these mistakes.
I am writing from a place of regret, reflection and humbleness today. I am mad that I am HERE. I do know that all of my wrong decisions have been a direct result of selfishness. I have misused people and money in the past, and for that I am truly sorry.
If you have ever felt like I've mistreated you, I APOLOGIZE SINCERELY. GOD I apologize to you also for not always thinking of serving the kingdom with my money first. I alos apologize for mistreating your children. I promise to do better.

Please do not read this like I am feeling sorry for myself, and please don't feel sorry for me. I am purging and sharing with the hopes that someone may be in the same postion I am, and it might help someone. Just wanting to get it right.

A Family Affair

I ask that you guys join me in uplifting my sister Patricia in prayer this week. Her father passed away on Wednesday. She is a follower of the blog, and as far as I'm concerned, she is part of the blog family, she is also a really good friend of mine and my family. Her dad was only 58 and died of a heart attack. Yesterday, Patrica had to break the news to her grandmother. It was the most difficult thing she has ever had to do. I prayed with her and for her, and I ask that you join me in keeping her uplifted and strengthened through this most difficult time.
This has touched me because my moms and I had a falling out a couple of weeks ago, and hadn't made up yet. I have tried to contact her, but I know I could do better and try harder. Today, I will peace it up with my mother and let her know I love her. Today might be a good day to tell your parents you love them too......just a thought.

Answered prayer

Hello peoples! I just wanted to quickly update you on my goings on. Tomorrow, Wednesday, April 22, 2009- I will be going on a job interview for a job in my field. I already have claimed the position, so basically, this is just a meeting of my new work family! I ask that you agree with me in prayer, and confess with me OUT LOUD that I already have this job. I am thanking God right now! Most of you know, I've been praying for this to happen, and its always perfect timing. There is ALOT going on.
I love you guys.

All I know to do....

As I sat here feeling sorry for myself, I kept getting reminded to come to the blog. I spent a bunch of money-that I didn't have-today on getting my car fixed. That put a huge damper on my day. Then I started to meditate on all of the things that's wrong with me, or all of the things that I want to change...need to change. Next thing I know, I am depressed. Hahahahahaha. ME! Depressed. Throughout the day, I've been getting communications like: Did you blog today? did you get my email I left for the blog? Thank you Pastor/Minister?elder Washington for your wonderful advice, etc, etc, etc...LOL But I felt like I had a cloud over my head. When I get here, I get quiet, reserved, don't want to be bothered, and I don't want to be a bother to anyone else. But something made me come to this blog. I shouldn't say SOMETHING, because it takes away from the importance and validity of the Holy Spirit. I was lead here...cause I know, honestly, I didn't want to come to the blog today. I wanted to separate myself from the one place where I know I could get uplifted. THAT SOUNDS CRAZY TO ME. I get a message today that said,: "Someone needs to hear your inspirational words today!"
That kinda kicked me in the butt. I responded, "I don't want the pressure..I wanna just let it flow."
Was that an excuse? I am rambling, I know...but this is the only therapy I have right now. It used to be basketball, but age, weight, and injuries have kinda slowed that down. Hahahahaha.
To make a long story short, I was BLESSED once again by Terry aka T-Hizzle's comment from the last posting (you know how to find it).
I feel like I am at a crossroads in my life...and when times get hard, I (used to) resort to my OLD WAY of doing things, meaning, I try to take control of the entire situation and manipulate it myself. But there are something that I have no control over.
But my thing is, I know that I am going to have to let go and let GOD....HOLD UP. I was just about to write: I know I am supposed to let go and let GOD, but I am afraid. But this is all to familiar to me right now. I have been here before.
Dear God, I pray that you take away the spirit of fear from within me. I pray that you bring to my remembrance - all that you've imparted into me about your word and having confidence in your word. Lord, I pray that I am able to focus, and say a heartfelt prayer for everything that needs correcting in my life. I pray that I call each and everyone of those things out by name, so I can purge myself of distractions. I pray that I am a living testimony of your Word and your promises. I pray that I may be a blessing to others as you have blessed me. I pray that there is NO LACK in my finances, and NO LACK in our relationship. I thank you that I have the wisdom of GOD, and I make sound decisions in every area of my life. I thank you that I am tuned into your voice, and that you will direct my paths. I thank you that I am no longer the same Corey I used to be. I thank you that I am getting stronger, and wiser day by day, minute by minute. I thank you for restoring my joy. HALLELULIEAH!!!!! THANK YOU FOR RESTORING MY JOY FATHER! I can feel the depression slipping away from my body right now ya'll...Wooooo!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I am smiling as I sit here typing right now. I love you Lord.......I thank you for all of my blessings, all of the people who read this blog. Thank you that they keep coming, sharing, and imparting into me Father. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for my job. Thank you that, once I get the job, they will offer me more than what they originally offer me. Thank you that every desire of my heart will be manifested. I also want to pray for my friends and family who are going through unemployment and downsizing right now. I pray that they all recognize that the recession is optional! they do not have to participate! Praise you for the way out Father! I thank you for their quick employment right now...that their needs are met, and they have no lack in their lives. I pray that we all sek your face, and focus on your will and your business, for it says in your word:
Matthew 6:33
33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

I pray that these THINGS include, jobs, houses, transportation, food, happiness, joy , and peace! I pray in your Son Jesus' Holy name.....AMEN!

***this was not premeditate. This was real time, with typo's and all. I added the title after I finished my post. Thank You Lord for your insight. ***

Pass The Test

I was inspired by Terry's comment in the last blog posting where he paraphrased Dr. D0llar:

"We are held back from our own promotion when we don't pass the test...[Terry Lavonne Hill] you've been at that same place because you won't pass the little test. [Terry,] you been at the same level for fifteen years, because you keep failing same the test." -Pastor Dollar, Easter Sunday.

It's been resonating in my head ever since he posted it. There have been other reminders and things that kinda ate at me this week.......not in a negative sense, but there were things that were said to me or brought out of me, to let me know that I have come too far to turn around. I gotta finish this thing. I cannot serve two master! I've heard it before, but now it is staring me directly in my face.
I called a friend to see how they were doing out of the blue, and they were right in the middle of a storm. Somehow, some way, I was able to minister to them and pray with them. it wasn't me..it was all GOD. I remember that the one thing that I said that kind of grounded them in the middle of their storm was, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!" That statement made me think about the blog.
I realized that the reason I cannot stop blogging is because its not about me....even when I want it to be. It's about YOU!
God has still been putting people in my path that are reminding me of what I'm supposed to be doing....Blogging here, sharing what HE is doing in my life, and hopefully helping others.
Recently, I've been bombarded with distractions away from the blog, and also from my christian walk. I hadn't been going to church because I've been chasing the dollar. I've been focusing on leisure time activities as apposed to doing Kingdom Business and preparing myself to hear from HIM. These are all small, minuscule, tiny, easy test! But these are the test that I keep failing to pass. HA! but not anymore! I see them coming...I CAN PASS THEM. WE CAN PASS THEM. No matter what our obstacle or test is, the scripture says that GOD will not give us anything that we cannot bear. The bottom line is WE WIN! We just have to CHOOSE to win. WOW...I think I'll say that again. WE HAVE TO CHOOSE TO WIN!!!!

Duet 30:19
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Its time to graduate to the next level!
WHO"S COMING WITH ME???!!!