Why do I do it to myself!?!?! Why do I watch Extreme Home Makeover? Every time I watch it, I get tears in my eyes. Tears of sadness for the family. Tears of reflection in my own life. Tears of joy at the end. Why the heck am I so emotional? How the heck did I get so emotional???? UGH!!!!
It's Easter Sunday! I didn't make church because I was chasing a dollar. I have learned this lesson before, but I figured since I am not doing the 28 days like I was before, it wouldn't make too much of a difference....well, it did. My insides made me vow to never take another video assignment at another church on a Sunday. I realized that I am extremely happy at my church and I miss it when I am not there. Not to mention. my friends call or text me when they don't see me to see if I made it!
My heart keeps telling me that I need to start over with he 28 days. My heart knows that I could have done better. My heart knows when I got distracted. When am I going to pass that ONE test? I feel like there is soooo much in front of me that I want to overcome, but its overwhelming. My career, m,y physical body, my home life, college for Azia, my dad's health, my moms attitude, my Christian walk......
I am not at rock bottom, but I tell you one thing, I am not going to wait until I get to rock bottom before I start screaming for help. I gotta start now! Even though I don't fee like it. I gotta start now.
My cousin hit me up the other day with an email. She stated in the email that she was starting her own blog. she had recently been laid off and she was writing about how she is dealing with it. She has added helpful hints and things. Very similar to what I am doing over here. It kinda kicked me in the butt because its not about me. Its not about if I feel like typing or not. Its not about if I feel like letting people see this side or that side of me. I gotta finish what I started. I miss you guys. I miss conversing, and sharing, and experiencing break thru with you guys...getting revelation, answered prayer. I can be so selfish. MY BAD. Time to rev this thing back up. Let go of this empty feeling, and get happy again. I was at my happiest when sharing with you guys.
speak with you shortly........
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Corey, I totally understand what you are going through. As you know i have been going though my test of patience for quite some time now and I finally adimitted my problem during our 28 day journey. I had been doing quite well these past few weeks. Taking it slow, letting it flow. Let Go Let God. Well this past week I started slipping and getting emotional when I felt like I was talking steps forward then taking many backward. Well what I think and possible you are going through is, God has not left us, He has just step back for a while to see if we are going to continue to trust him in our dark hour or are we going to turn back to our old ways. Well, we shall continue to trust him. We have come too far to turn back now. God will not leave us nor forsake us. Corey, I tried running, hiding and cutting off from life, Take it from me it doesn't work. We will get through this because we are all God's Children and He's not done with us yet.
ReplyDeleteAs for my Blog family I miss you guys so much. Please pray for my family. I have lost a cusin yesterday. I just saw her two week ago at our Great Aunts funeral... She wasn't sick. Please cherish every moment as if its your last. Don't hold on to bitterness or regret. If you love someone tell them.
I love you guys!
Thalia
"We are held back from our own promotion when we don't pass the test...[Terry Lavonne Hill] you've been at that same place because you won't pass the little test. [Terry,] you been at the same level for fifteen years, because you keep failing same the test."
ReplyDelete-Pastor Dollar, Easter Sunday.
So as you can tell my theme wasnt all bunnies and peeps. I realized last saturday that I too am in such a stuck positions in various levels of my walk. The very next day i got my deliverance (ticket, golden pass to deliverance): I havent been faithful with my few. My roomate has no idea and says to me,
"There are SO many things held up for you because of (place issue here) Once you've got over that, the dams will break and the waters will flow (paraphrased).
Im thankful for my golden ticket.
ps:corey,it was good seeing you and nate in ALPH...weird...
Love Yall
Terry
and im sorry to hear about your lost, T, stay blessed and I love you sis. The music was on point.
ReplyDeleteWOW
ReplyDelete花蓮奶油酥條|花蓮黃金奶油酥條|奶油酥條團購|花蓮99黃金奶油酥條|花蓮奶油酥條訂購|奶油酥條|花蓮奶油酥條
ReplyDelete花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮|花蓮奶油酥條|奶油酥條