What up blog family! Ok, so I will just jump right in on this one. DAY 16-February 17, 2009, I didn't post anything (obviously). As I sit here and try to think of a valid excuse to support my neglegence, I can't come up with anything. LOL. You know how we do...try to take the blame off of us. LOL
Well, upon reflection of yesterday, I realized that the Holy Spirit was trying to get my attention all day. It started off in the morning. When it was time to read my scriptures, I couldn't really focus. I kept hearing him say, read your scriptures. Turn off the TV. Get up. Your bible is right there. But I wasn't listening. I kept putting it off. I kept thinking, I will in a minute. Minutes turned to hours. Then, when I finally MADE MYSELF read, I wasn't really there. I forced it, but I couldn't tell you any details about what I read. I got frustrated, and put down the bible. I am sharing this, because I know I am not the only one who's been here.
The longer it took for me to get up and do something productive, the lazier I became. It was like my energy was zapped. Needless to say, everything that I was supposed to do, or was reminded to do, was put off for LATER. Until I ran out of later. The day was gone. It was Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2009 and I had failed to post in my blog. The key word there is MY blog. I have noone else to blame. I just felt like not doing anything. I realized that This IS Where IT Begins. My stumbling block. This is the turning point or the wall that I face within my self, or within my Christian walk. I see it now. I really thought that the bigger sins were the ones that messed me up! It's actually, the little things that I fail to build on throughout the day that leads me to my destination. I just didn't GET HERE. I plotted the course earlier that day by being lazy......not sticking to what I intended on doing. Then POOF, the day was gone. The "SNOWBALL EFFECT"
I do not profess to have all of the answers, shoot, any answers for that matter. I am just writing it down as it comes to me. I know that in the midst of this journey, somehow I have adjusted my compass slightly to the right or to the left, and I may be a little of course. I am going to adjust my compass, and slowly, start my way back towards the direction I was going in when I started this blog. I know I'm just going to have to say NO to some stuff, and some people. I guess this is me facing one of my biggest FEARS...people bondage. Wanting to please people. THANK YOU LORD for showing me that.
I am going to go back and read DAY 1. See what I failed to do....this blog is supposed to be about me getting closer to GOD. Am I REALLY doing that? Are WE really doing that?
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The Snowball Effect.... for me has been quite extraordinary.... I’ve sown, and sacrificed, and given, and prayed, and studied, and practiced, and expected, and believed, and during this past weekend I’ve begun the journey of reaping…. WOW…. Now that’s a praise report to me…. I didn’t know when or how…. BUT GOD.
ReplyDeleteI was booked to perform the National Anthem for 8000+ people during the NC State / GA Tech Men’s Basketball Valentine’s Day game…. It was pure adrenaline from the moment I arrived at LAX Airport (pleasure and pain). Lemme give you the short version….. The pain first…
As I leisurely walked through LAX I began to feel pure pressure on my entire body as I passed Gate 69. I haven’t been to this airport since traveling to visit my Daddy the few times prior to and during his passing 8 weeks ago. As I passed the walkway it was as though I was walking into a rea-ltime vision of that day. I saw to my left, myself talking to a lady that was inquiring about my travels and details about Daddy; further to my left I saw myself sitting in the restaurant pondering and wondering if my delayed and then cancelled flight would get me to Daddy’s side in time; (Oh, you talk about praying in public!!!!!) then to my immediate right I saw myself boarding that plane to face the pain of spending the night in a lonely hotel waiting for my connecting flight – still in hopes of making it in time. As all these memories flooded my mind, as though in real-time I found myself mentally falling…. The tears flooded my eyes and face and I began to sweat. I made it to a seat while people were asking me if I was okay. After maybe 30 minutes of repeating ALOUD “I will be okay” I convinced myself to walk a few paces to a shop and purchase some Apple Juice to replenish the liquids… Then slowly back to my seat to wait for the flight…. OH MY, how I asked God to take control of this trip – Was it too soon to travel alone? Should I not be back to working again so soon?…. The FEAR of FEAR itself crept in as I boarded the plane.
I slept the entire nonstop flight. I woke up and stepped off the plane. I was greeted at the Hertz Gold area by a very dear and new friend as he was walked up behind me asking if I needed help. Actually…. he almost got hit in the “stomach” – since he’s about twice my height (hah aha ha h) and that’s as high as I could reach! Humph, ever heard of a “hit and run”…. As I turned around and noticed who he was, I threw myself in his arms and relaxed beyond measure. God really knew how to take care of me during this journey.
We glanced on the marquis for my name and car space and walked to #422. I had reserved a compact car to get me around town for the 48 hours of working and visiting family/friends. To my sheer delight the “compact’ car was moved from space 422 and parked to the side (not really in a parking space) and a 2009 Infinity FX50 was in its place. Talk about comfort and safety in the rain – not to mention 6-8 speakers of pure LOUD music!
The weekend performances were good – I sort of lost my voice on Sunday’s ministry session (or so it seemed to me) but God allowed the WORDS of His song to minister to His people through the ‘softness” of my voice as many noted after the service. Spending time with family was fantastic. Then I went by my property to work on some items for my new renter, joined an ex-coworker, now lifetime friend, for a rooftop photo shoot and we then joined some more dear friends for dinner and literally laughed the night away and took tons of fun photos!!! That’s how we roll! Then back to the property for last minutes items. Finally it was time for a couple hours sleep, packing, shower and back to the airport heading home. Home James!
I am thankful for the weekend, its challenges and its rewards! God is AMAZING!!!!
Corey, Please don't beat yourself up. We as humans do fall short sometimes.I am failing short as we speak. We are not perfect nor does God think we are perfect. Only God is perfect. God allows us to make mistakes so we can learn and grow from them and grow more like God. We know we can't be God but definatley God like. Well after these last few weeks God had lead you to grow as well as others to grow. I can only speak for my self but i am sure some more of Blog family would agree that without you we wouldn't have been able to admit our fears, our wants, our desires or needs, the things we are thankful for. Without you we wouldn't have this christen family of believers, our Blog Familiy so right there an accompliment that God is so very proud of YOU for. And I am so proud YOU too. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of this journey. Apart of my Blog family of believers.
ReplyDeleteLove you always
Thalia
I am going leave eveyone with today's affirmation. God always have a way of making sure we hear his word. Let Go and Let God. I have been wrestling with statement for days... I don't know if anyone has experience this or not but I am going to put it out there. It seems like some things I can pray about and let out and let God and then its other things that I pray about that I just can't Let go and Let God. That is were I am right now. I keep my human hand on it and mess it up and then I am right back starting all over again. I must admitt it's fear of wanting a certain outcome but I'm not sure if my faith or patience is strong enough...
Subject: Daily Affirmation for February 18, 2009
Have you ever worried about something all night long only to find out God had already worked it out? If you say you trust God, then you don’t need to worry! “To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long”. If you keep your hope and trust in the Lord, He will “never leave you nor forsake you”! Be Blessed!!!