Friday, September 25, 2009

Guess who's back!: Peep this....

Hello...hello...is anybody out there? LOL. I know its been a minute, but I am back. Sorry for the delay. Let me jump right in. This is what motivated me to write:
i was getting a haircut earlier and was having a conversation with my barber and good friend Tariq. Tariq was telling me about an ex girlfriend he had in his hometown. He was telling me that they had caught up, been communicating, and really thinking about seeing each other again. Tariq went on to say that during their last conversation, she said something to the affect of, " When are you gonna get me outta here and bring me to Atlanta." I asked him how did he feel about that. It bugged him out. He was telling me that she is cool, and he likes her BUT, she don't look as good as he would like. He said that she was really sweet and good people BUT he can't afford to bring another person into his house. He said they were elementary school sweethearts. I then told him that he didn't even know that chic. Its been years since he's seen her. Plus he's really grown spiritually over the past year and a half. He agreed, but said he really liked her, BUT he just wasn't sure. THIS IS WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT TOOK OVER. The spirit talked to me, and I know it was him, because I felt his presence. I was staring straight ahead, and things got blurry. I heard some words, and then things started to get back in focus. Right before they got back in focus I said to him out loud, " Stop making excuses for that other chic.You know, when GOD brings you your wife, you won't be saying BUT, you'll be saying AND. My wife is beautiful AND she has a great job, AND she loves GOD, AND she goes to church more than I do, AND she loves to cook my favorite meal, AND she looks perfect, AND she has a lot to bring to the TABLE! etc, etc." Tariq quickly added," God shall supply all my needs AND these things shall be added unto you!" We both started to laugh in the barbershop. Then we just kinda smiled and stared into space for like ten minutes.
I just knew I had to share that with as many people as I could.
God is a multiplier, not a subtractor! He will bring people into your life to ADD to your gifts, talents, etc...not take away from you or use you. Check your circle out!
(That's all I have to say about that!)

Monday, May 4, 2009

DAY'S TWO & THREE

WHEW! It has been a rough couple of days people. Ever since I've decided to attack my weaknesses, I've had people get mad at me, misunderstand me, disappear on me (I miss ya"ll by the way), and at the same time , I've had people encourage me, uplift me, and even kick me in the butt to make sure I stay focused. I got these emails a little while ago. They made me immediately come to the blog:

RE: DAY ONE)
What a blessing. Thx for sharing Bro. When you are honest like that, you steal the power from Satan. He has nothing to hold over your head. That's just the beginning of your healing.....TRUST me....I know!
Love ya,
Andrea


You need to know something ..... Very few people have the ability, desire, concern or the sense to want to better themselves. You are already healed. and I repeat... You are already healed.. How Russ?
There was a day... That you didn't give a #$%& about:
-what people thought
-How they felt about you
-What GOD thought...... (that's a deep one)
-How the girl you "HIT" felt when you never called back
-If your steps were in order....etc, because the list can go on.
Now that I have your attention... GOD actually wants you to heal others!!! By your words, you are doing JUST that. By being transparent your are doing JUST that... By sharing, caring and daring, you are doing JUST that. By capturing the "MOMENT" when you take pictures... you are doing JUST that. Your gift is incredible and its about to get better.

Your Big Little Brother, Russ
PS.. Tell Pops I said hello...

God has been really making me deal with ME! Ha....As I write this, I am reflecting on the way I felt this weekend. I felt alone. I know I am changing because the vice's that I used to have to get me through my periods of loneliness no longer appeal to me. WOW. While I was in the middle of it, I couldn't figure it out, but now on the other side, I can see it plainly. I am in the middle of a process. THANK YOU GOD for opening my eyes. I was motivated to write this blog today for several reasons. I did not FEEL like doing it. However, I have recognized that I am at my best when I am here....on the blog.....talking to who ever feels like reading. LOL PURGING.

QUESTION: What do you do when you feel alone or at your lowest point?
I tried to pray, but couldn't find the words. I wanted to pray in tongues, but every time I tried, my stomach hurt and I couldn't open my mouth. Then I figured, since GOD knows everything I am going thru and feeling, I won't bother HIM anyway, I'll just call my best friends. That's what they are there for! So I called them, and couldn't get thru. All road kept leading back to GOD. I finally got thru to my sister Trina. After explaining how I was feeling, the first thing she asked me was, "Did you pray?" I told her I didn't exactly pray...but I just started to talk to HIM, like he was a passenger in my car. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was a form of prayer. I just started talking to GOD and letting HIM know exactly where I was and how I was feeling. Low and behold, I felt better after letting it go. I am truly understanding the saying, "Let go and let GOD." I gave it to HIM and now HE has the responsibility of giving me my hearts desire. That was HIS promise to US.

****
Keeping it 100: I am a spoiled brat!!!! OK..I said it!!!
I want, what I want, when I want it! That was a huge part of this weekend. I have some questions that I need answers to. There is only one person that can give them to me. It just so happens that, this one person I couldn't find all weekend. My brother Destin told me in no uncertain terms, "You are the type of cat that wants answers now. You're upset because you can't get them when you want them. Looks like you can't get them on COREY TIME. You're going to have to be patient!"

So, looks like I have to re-learn the lesson of patience! Thalia...any suggestions? :O)

Friday, May 1, 2009

A Brand New 28 Days-DAY ONE

Hello blog family. It is such a good feeling to be blogging again. I have decided to start another 28 days. This time, I am going to assume that things will be a little different. I am going to be dealing with some of my deepest thoughts, regrets, mistakes.....trying to see if I've learned from them. The other day, I asked GOD to give me the ok, or the push to start blogging again. I believe he asked me, what will be different this time? Did you really CHANGE? My mind was blown away. I had to ask myself, did I really change? So then I started going down the list of things that I know I've done in the past that were wrong...and I weighed them against the things that I am still doing to this day that are wrong. WHOA! Talk about dealing with the truth! I have done everything wrong at least twice except kill someone! I am blogging for deliverance this time. I am blogging to get smarter. I am blogging to get healed.

I am blogging to share how GOD will show my how I continue to repeat old mistakes, how to STOP repeating them, and more importantly, how to forgive myself for making these mistakes.
I am writing from a place of regret, reflection and humbleness today. I am mad that I am HERE. I do know that all of my wrong decisions have been a direct result of selfishness. I have misused people and money in the past, and for that I am truly sorry.
If you have ever felt like I've mistreated you, I APOLOGIZE SINCERELY. GOD I apologize to you also for not always thinking of serving the kingdom with my money first. I alos apologize for mistreating your children. I promise to do better.

Please do not read this like I am feeling sorry for myself, and please don't feel sorry for me. I am purging and sharing with the hopes that someone may be in the same postion I am, and it might help someone. Just wanting to get it right.

Friday, April 24, 2009

A Family Affair

I ask that you guys join me in uplifting my sister Patricia in prayer this week. Her father passed away on Wednesday. She is a follower of the blog, and as far as I'm concerned, she is part of the blog family, she is also a really good friend of mine and my family. Her dad was only 58 and died of a heart attack. Yesterday, Patrica had to break the news to her grandmother. It was the most difficult thing she has ever had to do. I prayed with her and for her, and I ask that you join me in keeping her uplifted and strengthened through this most difficult time.
This has touched me because my moms and I had a falling out a couple of weeks ago, and hadn't made up yet. I have tried to contact her, but I know I could do better and try harder. Today, I will peace it up with my mother and let her know I love her. Today might be a good day to tell your parents you love them too......just a thought.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Answered prayer

Hello peoples! I just wanted to quickly update you on my goings on. Tomorrow, Wednesday, April 22, 2009- I will be going on a job interview for a job in my field. I already have claimed the position, so basically, this is just a meeting of my new work family! I ask that you agree with me in prayer, and confess with me OUT LOUD that I already have this job. I am thanking God right now! Most of you know, I've been praying for this to happen, and its always perfect timing. There is ALOT going on.
I love you guys.

Monday, April 20, 2009

All I know to do....

As I sat here feeling sorry for myself, I kept getting reminded to come to the blog. I spent a bunch of money-that I didn't have-today on getting my car fixed. That put a huge damper on my day. Then I started to meditate on all of the things that's wrong with me, or all of the things that I want to change...need to change. Next thing I know, I am depressed. Hahahahahaha. ME! Depressed. Throughout the day, I've been getting communications like: Did you blog today? did you get my email I left for the blog? Thank you Pastor/Minister?elder Washington for your wonderful advice, etc, etc, etc...LOL But I felt like I had a cloud over my head. When I get here, I get quiet, reserved, don't want to be bothered, and I don't want to be a bother to anyone else. But something made me come to this blog. I shouldn't say SOMETHING, because it takes away from the importance and validity of the Holy Spirit. I was lead here...cause I know, honestly, I didn't want to come to the blog today. I wanted to separate myself from the one place where I know I could get uplifted. THAT SOUNDS CRAZY TO ME. I get a message today that said,: "Someone needs to hear your inspirational words today!"
That kinda kicked me in the butt. I responded, "I don't want the pressure..I wanna just let it flow."
Was that an excuse? I am rambling, I know...but this is the only therapy I have right now. It used to be basketball, but age, weight, and injuries have kinda slowed that down. Hahahahaha.
To make a long story short, I was BLESSED once again by Terry aka T-Hizzle's comment from the last posting (you know how to find it).
I feel like I am at a crossroads in my life...and when times get hard, I (used to) resort to my OLD WAY of doing things, meaning, I try to take control of the entire situation and manipulate it myself. But there are something that I have no control over.
But my thing is, I know that I am going to have to let go and let GOD....HOLD UP. I was just about to write: I know I am supposed to let go and let GOD, but I am afraid. But this is all to familiar to me right now. I have been here before.
Dear God, I pray that you take away the spirit of fear from within me. I pray that you bring to my remembrance - all that you've imparted into me about your word and having confidence in your word. Lord, I pray that I am able to focus, and say a heartfelt prayer for everything that needs correcting in my life. I pray that I call each and everyone of those things out by name, so I can purge myself of distractions. I pray that I am a living testimony of your Word and your promises. I pray that I may be a blessing to others as you have blessed me. I pray that there is NO LACK in my finances, and NO LACK in our relationship. I thank you that I have the wisdom of GOD, and I make sound decisions in every area of my life. I thank you that I am tuned into your voice, and that you will direct my paths. I thank you that I am no longer the same Corey I used to be. I thank you that I am getting stronger, and wiser day by day, minute by minute. I thank you for restoring my joy. HALLELULIEAH!!!!! THANK YOU FOR RESTORING MY JOY FATHER! I can feel the depression slipping away from my body right now ya'll...Wooooo!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I am smiling as I sit here typing right now. I love you Lord.......I thank you for all of my blessings, all of the people who read this blog. Thank you that they keep coming, sharing, and imparting into me Father. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for my job. Thank you that, once I get the job, they will offer me more than what they originally offer me. Thank you that every desire of my heart will be manifested. I also want to pray for my friends and family who are going through unemployment and downsizing right now. I pray that they all recognize that the recession is optional! they do not have to participate! Praise you for the way out Father! I thank you for their quick employment right now...that their needs are met, and they have no lack in their lives. I pray that we all sek your face, and focus on your will and your business, for it says in your word:
Matthew 6:33
33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well
.

I pray that these THINGS include, jobs, houses, transportation, food, happiness, joy , and peace! I pray in your Son Jesus' Holy name.....AMEN!

***this was not premeditate. This was real time, with typo's and all. I added the title after I finished my post. Thank You Lord for your insight. ***

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pass The Test

I was inspired by Terry's comment in the last blog posting where he paraphrased Dr. D0llar:

"We are held back from our own promotion when we don't pass the test...[Terry Lavonne Hill] you've been at that same place because you won't pass the little test. [Terry,] you been at the same level for fifteen years, because you keep failing same the test." -Pastor Dollar, Easter Sunday.

It's been resonating in my head ever since he posted it. There have been other reminders and things that kinda ate at me this week.......not in a negative sense, but there were things that were said to me or brought out of me, to let me know that I have come too far to turn around. I gotta finish this thing. I cannot serve two master! I've heard it before, but now it is staring me directly in my face.
I called a friend to see how they were doing out of the blue, and they were right in the middle of a storm. Somehow, some way, I was able to minister to them and pray with them. it wasn't me..it was all GOD. I remember that the one thing that I said that kind of grounded them in the middle of their storm was, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!" That statement made me think about the blog.
I realized that the reason I cannot stop blogging is because its not about me....even when I want it to be. It's about YOU!
God has still been putting people in my path that are reminding me of what I'm supposed to be doing....Blogging here, sharing what HE is doing in my life, and hopefully helping others.
Recently, I've been bombarded with distractions away from the blog, and also from my christian walk. I hadn't been going to church because I've been chasing the dollar. I've been focusing on leisure time activities as apposed to doing Kingdom Business and preparing myself to hear from HIM. These are all small, minuscule, tiny, easy test! But these are the test that I keep failing to pass. HA! but not anymore! I see them coming...I CAN PASS THEM. WE CAN PASS THEM. No matter what our obstacle or test is, the scripture says that GOD will not give us anything that we cannot bear. The bottom line is WE WIN! We just have to CHOOSE to win. WOW...I think I'll say that again. WE HAVE TO CHOOSE TO WIN!!!!

Duet 30:19
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Its time to graduate to the next level!
WHO"S COMING WITH ME???!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Random Thoughts

Why do I do it to myself!?!?! Why do I watch Extreme Home Makeover? Every time I watch it, I get tears in my eyes. Tears of sadness for the family. Tears of reflection in my own life. Tears of joy at the end. Why the heck am I so emotional? How the heck did I get so emotional???? UGH!!!!
It's Easter Sunday! I didn't make church because I was chasing a dollar. I have learned this lesson before, but I figured since I am not doing the 28 days like I was before, it wouldn't make too much of a difference....well, it did. My insides made me vow to never take another video assignment at another church on a Sunday. I realized that I am extremely happy at my church and I miss it when I am not there. Not to mention. my friends call or text me when they don't see me to see if I made it!
My heart keeps telling me that I need to start over with he 28 days. My heart knows that I could have done better. My heart knows when I got distracted. When am I going to pass that ONE test? I feel like there is soooo much in front of me that I want to overcome, but its overwhelming. My career, m,y physical body, my home life, college for Azia, my dad's health, my moms attitude, my Christian walk......
I am not at rock bottom, but I tell you one thing, I am not going to wait until I get to rock bottom before I start screaming for help. I gotta start now! Even though I don't fee like it. I gotta start now.
My cousin hit me up the other day with an email. She stated in the email that she was starting her own blog. she had recently been laid off and she was writing about how she is dealing with it. She has added helpful hints and things. Very similar to what I am doing over here. It kinda kicked me in the butt because its not about me. Its not about if I feel like typing or not. Its not about if I feel like letting people see this side or that side of me. I gotta finish what I started. I miss you guys. I miss conversing, and sharing, and experiencing break thru with you guys...getting revelation, answered prayer. I can be so selfish. MY BAD. Time to rev this thing back up. Let go of this empty feeling, and get happy again. I was at my happiest when sharing with you guys.
speak with you shortly........

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

TAKE YOUR MEDICINE

I was just in the shower going over yesterday in my mind. I remember getting angry with my dad because we both knew that this hospital visit could have been avoided if he would have just stuck to his diet. He is a diabetic, and some foods can hurt him. Fried foods especially! And let me just tell you, my aunts and uncles have been cooking some "real" soul food for him and the rest of us for the past 3 weeks! While we were in the waiting room, my dad kept saying, " I knew I shouldn't have eaten all of that food! I just went crazy when I saw it."
I didn't know it then, but that was a PROFOUND statement. Equate that to our Christian walk. We have been given specific instructions on how to live(the Bible). When we don't keep in line with the Word, we feel bad, we put ourselves in danger, then we say to ourselves, " I knew better. I should not have to go thru this!"
Then the doctor comes in. He doesn't know us from Adam. However, the doctor comes in with a positive attitude, ask you to confess your HEALTH ISSUE (sin), and then encourages you, and lets you know that they will find the remedy, or solution to your issue. The doctor then tells you, Take this PRESCRIPTION (Bible) and follow these instructions word for word, and in a short time, you will find yourself back in good health!
Same thing spiritually....get the instructions on how to live your life, follow the instructions, when you mess up, go seek help - go to GOD, confess your sins and shortcomings, get your prescription-read scriptures that deal with your specific issue, then take your medicine!

I LOVE YOU!

What's Important to You- pt.2

I wanted to let you guys know that my dad needs prayer! He was all set to return to NY yesterday, however he wasn't feeling to hot. I dropped him off at the curb side check in, went to park the car, and when I got back to him, he told me that he wanted to go to the hospital. TO make al ong story short, we were there all day....he is still there. They kept him overnight for observation. He thinks its just gas, but the doctors wanted to check his heart out as a precaution. I say MY DAD IS HEALED - In Jesus' name!
I would love it if you joined me in believing for my dad's healing.

Also, I sent my adopted big brother Russell some pics of my father and I at church on sunday. Russ called me yesterday and told me to check out his website...then call him back. I WAS SHOCKED WHEN I GOT THERE.......Please take 2 minutes out to check this out:

http://soundviewstandup.ning.com/group/realfathersbrotherssons

That blessed me tremendoulsy!!!!!!!!
Russ, you continue to amaze me!

Here are some pics from our sunday at church:








Sunday, March 29, 2009

What's important to you????

What up blog family! Sorry for the delay. I had to step back and take a look at some things. Man, that's all I can say....MAN!!!!! LOL
I have sooooo much to share.....however, my time is short. I have to get my father back to my uncles house so he can pack to go back to New York. For those of you who didn't know, my dad has been out here visiting his brother and myself.
Ok, here we go....here is a brief description of my dad: He is 64, from Alabama. He left Alabama at the age of 19 with $25 in his pocket, and rode with his friend to NY. My dad was a young thug in Al, and became a hustler in NY. He bar tended, loan sharked, basically did what he needed to do as a man with very little education, in a new city, to survive. He told me that his granddad was a preacher back home, and they had built a church behind the house he grew up in. He once told me that he got a really bad beating because he was gambling with the offering money he used to get from his parents. LOL
My dad hasn't been a man to go to church, but has always been a man of FAITH. As he has gotten older, he realized that he needed to slow down and smell the flowers. He has reached out to family that he hadn't spoken to in years, made peace with a lot of people who he had problems with, and made time to bond with his first born son whom he hadn't seen in over 40 years!
With all that said, I love my dad. LOVE MY DAD! When I was working for Dr. Dollar, I convinced my dad to come to the NY convention so he could see my work. To my surprise, my dad showed up. I didn't get to see him, but when I finally spoke to him, he told me he enjoyed the service and he wanted a copy of the service! I was shocked.
I invited him last week, but he said he wasn't going if he wasn't dressed properly for church. When I was coming up, he was FLY! He used to take me to 125st in Harlem, and pick up custom made suits. He stayed in a suit. Always took pride in his appearance. Little did he know, I had some money coming in. Once I got my check, I surprised him and took him shopping.
I bought my father a suit! That was the one of the proudest moments of my life....to give back to my dad!
Well, I am extremely happy to say that today, my dad came with me to church! He was SHARP TOO! LOL...Pics soon to follow.
I went to pick him up this morning from his brothers house, and as he was upstairs getting ready, something just overtook me. A joy that I had never felt before. I forgot what gospel song was on the radio, but I just took in the moment. MY DAD IS COMING TO CHURCH WITH ME! As I sat there in this moment, I began to become overwhelmed with emotion. The tears welled up in my eyes, the lump gathered in my throat, and I began to stream tears of utter joy down my cheeks. This was a special day!
We sat in the back so he could take it all in. He emphatically rocked back and forth in his seat to the praise & worship! LOL Now I remember where I got that from!
He joked with the people who sat around us, made kids smile. He tried to make everyone who he came in contact with comfortable, even though he was probably the most uncomfortable person in the building! My dad got heart. After service, he was treated like a celebrity. People who I know kept coming over to introduce themselves to MY DAD. They took pictures with MY DAD. Wanted to meet MY DAD. I have tears in my eyes right now just thinking about it. TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY. Today was an important day to me because, I know he really had no intentions on being in church when he left New York. But he came because it was IMPORTANT TO ME. ......Here comes the tears again....I am just going to let them flow! DAG...now the lump! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! OK.
Ok.....I just want to say I love you dad.
to be continued

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Blog Under Construction

Hey everyone...the blog will be down until monday morning due to resructuring. I apologize for the inconvenience. I will be able to be reached at coreyb2@gmail.com.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

INSANITY

Have you ever had one of those days where you didn't feel like you did enough? Especially spiritually. I had not been myself today...all day. I hadn't done anything to strengthen my relationship with God today. I just kinda been floating thru the day. I did take care of some business today, but kept putting HIM off. Now I feel empty. LOL. I feel like I want so much so fast. I want to be perfect today! I want to be sure of every decision I make. I want to spend my money right. I just noticed as I was typing that everything I just said began with the word "I". Maybe that's the problem. Hmmm, what could I do for someone else...I need to take the focus off of my worries and focus on making someone else feel better or attain a goal. I am mad that it took all day long for me to realize that I need to take the focus off of me. You know, when we go through things emotionally, we revert back to our primal instincts-SURVIVAL. WE revert back to what we know the most or are most familiar with. I know that what I used to revert too, I don't really want to do anymore. However, today, I found myself there. It was crazy because it was easy access too. I know that if it wasn't for this blog, I'd probably still be stuck in survival mode. Let me clarify, what I mean by survival mode doesn't necessarily have to mean life or death. I mean it can be a vice like cigarettes, drugs, pornography...anything. Anything to take your mind off of what you are dealing with at the moment or to make you feel better about yourself at the time.One of my vices is sweets! (as I might have mentioned before). Today I bought a pint of vanilla hagen daaz and a Louisiana crunch cake and pigged out when I got home. Then I was pissed when I saw myself in the mirror! Its my fault. I knew what I was doing, but I hated the outcome. Insanity can be defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!Think about that for a moment...........................................Now, think about this, Do you revert to survival mode with the expectations that after you come out of survival mode, you'll see a different result then the last time???? Hmmmm.......We must identify our vices if we're ever going to get out of that insane cycle of messing up, being selfish, then expecting everything to be alright when we get back down to earth.I guess that is what this blog is all about huh....identifying our weaknesses and making the necessary changes to get stronger. I just hate that I keep bumping into new weaknesses! LOL

SONG OF THE DAY
"Me Again" by J.Moss. I added this because I am sure most of us have been in this position before. I just wanted to let people know that, if you're trying to live right, you are bound to make mistakes. Its a common bond we all share, but we are still striving to do better.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Are you distracted?

Good day all!!!!
I chose this topic because this is where I have felt myself the past 3 days, DISTRACTED. I totally understand that it happens. By no means am I stuck in DISTRACTED MODE. But I do want to get to the root of the issue so I can cut it off at the root. Upon thinking about my current distracted status, I remembered an outline that a good friend of mine gave me regarding this subject (distracted). I wanted to get his permission and blessing before I shared the outline with my blog family, and today I received both - THANK YOU Brother Oscar Camejo for allowing me to share this outline and information with my blog family. I know it will impact and change lives. God Bless You and YOUR FAMILY. I am proud to call you friend and even prouder to consider you my brother!

Now, the good news about this outline is that it doesn't stop here. Oscar has also created a blog that deals specifically with this subject in more details. I would like to ask you guys to take a couple of minutes, and visit Oscars blog. I visited, checked it out, and was extremely enlightened and impressed. Here is the link: www.thefocusedman.blogspot.com

Now, without further adu.....check out this list, and let it minister to you. Be honest with yourself. Seek out the answers and the roots.
***NOTE*** The list was originally designed for the development of men, however, I felt it applies to both genders. I didn't want to edit his list in anyway, so if you're a female reading this, just change the HE to a SHE. This post is designed for us as individuals to judge ourselves, not our ex-boyfriends and stuff....LOL I Love Ya'll!


21 Characteristics of a Distracted Man

1. He is easily sidetracked.
2. He is convinced that he has it all together when in reality he doesn’t.
3. He is convinced that he only has a few issues that he can handle, and believes that he is “good to go.”
4. He believes that his life is heading in the right direction because of all the doors of opportunity that open for him, when in reality he's making mistakes along the way.
5. He spends little to no time developing a relationship with God.
6. He is vulnerable to temptations.
7. He deals with his insecurities by joining social networks, but still remains insecure.
8. He is constantly busy doing many things that only he thinks are important, and he thinks that’s a good thing.
9. He allows just about anyone to speak into his life and influence his decisions.
10. He is often tired and frustrated with his life.
11. He rarely takes time to develop positive friendships with other men, especially Christian men.
12. He fails to deal with the root causes of his problems.
13. He may be a Christian who attends church on occasion, but he secretly longs for the “good old days” of sin and pleasure.
14. He envies the worldly lifestyle…the world's money, the world's fame and yes the world's women!
15. He jumps from relationship to relationship, and he's still unhappy and still unfulfilled.
16. He’s a double-minded man who seems to never make progress in life.
17. He starts multiple businesses, but isn’t successful at any.
18. He is pessimistic and often compares himself with other men, and rarely recognizes his strengths.
19. He doesn’t know the will of God for his life and doesn’t know how to seek it.
20. He allows his relationships to hinder his spiritual growth and commitment to God.
21. He’s living in deception but doesn’t realize it.

I definitely want your opinions, comments, and feedback!

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Long Weekend

I say that because, it took me a long time to sit my butt down at the computer. Honestly, it was just a lazy weekend. I did have to play my daughters boyfriend one on one in basketball. HA! He was telling Az he couId beat me. I was like WHAT?!?!? Kid, I do this for real. LOL
He was talking just as much stuff to me as I was to him. Azia told me do not let him beat me. LOL So you know it was on!
I went to pick them up from her moms house. When they got to the car, he opened the back door and she opened the front door. I told him to close his door. Then told her to close her door. Then I explained to him that he is going to be a gentlemen with my daughter and treat her like a lady. I made him open her door first, make sure she gets in, then close the door after her. Then he got in. I also told him, besides playing basketball, he is going to learn alot today!
We went to my aunts house, and started playing a warm up game. He didn't know it then, but while we were playing, I was peeping out his game. Looking at what he does well and stuff. Once I got his game down, we played. I told him before the game started that I was not going to let him win, and I was not going to take it easy on him. I said I may have the size, but you are 20 years younger than me! So, we played, and I beat him 15-9. The only reason it was that close was because I let him shoot from the foul line without playing any defense. I had him 10-2. I told him, once he misses, game was over, because I wasn't going to miss any more. LOL.
Besides that, I didn't do much. I did miss an important going away party for a gooood friend of mine, LEA. I thought the party was in the evening, and it started in the afternoon, so Lea, I gotta make it up to you. I APOLOGIZE....and I apologize to you guys too, for not posting sooner.

TODAY'S MEDITATION
I have been meditating on making small changes in my walk. I noticed that I wasn't 100 percent on point with my goals last month, and that was because I didn't do everything that I set out to do. I need to make some minor adjustments to get this thing right. I remember getting a list of 10 things Christians must do to be successful a couple of years back. I am looking for it to share with you guys. I think, if I stick to that list, plus add what we've already started here, I'll be good....we'll be good.
I am currently in the hospital with Az getting a transfusion, so I won't be adding any music right now.

TO BE CONTINUED

Friday, March 6, 2009

Be Proud!

Today has been another profound day for me thus far. I decided that I am not going to count the days anymore, just going to let GOD continue to use me for however long HE chooses......its NOT about me! I am confident HE will answer my prayers, all of our prayers in His time, so I rest in that! Now with that being said, let me break down today. I got up around 3ish. When I checked my voice mail, it was from my sister (female best friend) Trina. The voice mail said for me to go to my Facebook page as soon as I can, then call her. This is what she left on my page:

Trina Perrineau wrote at 9:42am
What would I do w/o you? I mean really. You are the walking definition of friend. And you are a friend to so so many. But if I didn't know better I'd think that I was your only friend in the world. I don't really know how you do that. You hold everyone down and somehow you always manage to be there when I need you too. Almost like you have the ability to split yourself. Maybe you're really an alien? That would explain the size of that head!(lol. loving the blog updates)

(Then my friend from high school Andrea commented on Trina's comment)

Andrea Abrahams Harrison wrote at 9:53am
Trina - What you said about Corey is so true. I was telling my husband just how caring and concerned he was for me when I was in NY this past weekend for the funeral. He kept asking me if I was ok...did I eat...did I need him to find me a place to stay...etc. I was so humbled by his brotherly love. We need to take a page out of his book and show others that same kind of love. Corey you truly exemplify the love of Christ to your brothers and sisters!

(Trina's response)

Trina Perrineau wrote at 10:11am
Yep, thanks Andrea. My condolences for your loss... You are so right. We could all take a page. I didn't know Rip but I'm sure he was a great person. I know Corey braved a snowstorm (and other things) in order to make the funeral (and managed to stop off 95 to check on my sister and leave some love and inspiration with her) And you know...he did the exact same thing six years ago when I lost my mom. Snowstorm and all. I love u bro.

Trina Perrineau wrote at 11:14am
sorry, let me chime back in one last time.. I know it's all ONLY possible through the LOVE of God... An example of what happens when we open ourselves up to ABOUNDING Universal love.

NOW, having read these messages, I was stuck. Staring at my computer screen as the tears welled up in my eyes. I never took the time to look back at what I had done in the past.....yesterday, last weekend, 6 years ago. I just kinda go into auto pilot mode. I am just really appreciative that God has enabled me the capacity to be there in any way I could.

Before I go any further, this is not a post about how GREAT I AM!!! There is a reason and a timing for this.

Without going in too deep, Andrea asked me to forward yesterday's blog post to her husband. I did it with no problem. He responded via email:

Thank you my brother in christ. I will read the bible verses as soon as I get in. I find myself resting in Romans 12 and Psalm 139. I will get back to you later. I am going to prepare a meal for the Fam.

I immediately grabbed my bible and began reading Romans 12. In my bible it is subtitled Christian Conduct.
Romans 12 (Amplified Bible)
Romans 12 1 I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.
2Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
3For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him.
4For as in one physical body we have many parts (organs, members) and all of these parts do not have the same function or use,
5So we, numerous as we are, are one body in Christ (the Messiah) and individually we are parts one of another [mutually dependent on one another].
6Having gifts (faculties, talents, qualities) that differ according to the grace given us, let us use them: [He whose gift is] prophecy, [let him prophesy] according to the proportion of his faith;
7[He whose gift is] practical service, let him give himself to serving; he who teaches, to his teaching;
8He who exhorts (encourages), to his exhortation; he who contributes, let him do it in simplicity and liberality; he who gives aid and superintends, with zeal and singleness of mind; he who does acts of mercy, with genuine cheerfulness and joyful eagerness.
9[Let your] love be sincere (a real thing); hate what is evil [loathe all ungodliness, turn in horror from wickedness], but hold fast to that which is good.
10Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.
11Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord.
12Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.
13Contribute to the needs of God's people [sharing in the necessities of the saints]; pursue the practice of hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you [who are cruel in their attitude toward you]; bless and do not curse them.
15Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others' joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others' grief].
16Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty (snobbish, high-minded, exclusive), but readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and give yourselves to humble tasks. Never overestimate yourself or be wise in your own conceits.
17Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is honest and proper and noble [aiming to be above reproach] in the sight of everyone.
18If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
19Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave the way open for [God's] wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay (requite), says the Lord.
20But if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.
21Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good.
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I almost didn't want to post the chapter due to the length, but its not about me. I knew if I just put the scripture up, some of us wouldn't get the chance to read it. I also posted because, I have been in a position in the past to defend my GIFTS. Make excuses for why I do for others, etc...this was just a confirmation that I was on the right path.

Thank You Mr. & Mrs. Harrison for the kinds words and the scriptures.
Thank You Trina for being moved enough to post your feelings on my facebook page. This could have easily been a phone conversation. I LOVE the way GOD lines things up!!!!!!!

TODAY'S MEDITATION
What talents and gifts has God blessed you with? Are you utilizing them? What are your strengths? ROMANS 12 baby!!!! ROMANS 12.

One more thing. Thalia and K.Brenai, I read your comments in yesterdays post, and I hope this helps!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

DAY 32 - Good News

I have good news everybody! Are you ready? Are you sure? Ok..Ok...I'll stop stalling. :O)
The good news that I have to share is that God rewards those who have FAITH!
I just read Hebrews Chapter 11, the whole chapter. I got so encouraged, that I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops. We MUST have faith for the things that we want changed in our life. We set our path in life ya'll. Just believe that we do, and then have faith that God will bring what we are believing for to pass. I am not trying to sound too churchy, but it is what it is. I GET IT.
Fear has been attacking us HEAVILY these past few days. By US , I mean the blog family. We must equip ourselves to be ready to fight these thoughts. Whenever we feel fear trying to talk to us, remember this nugget: We cannot fight thoughts with thoughts. We must fight thoughts with WORDS! (Pastor Creflo Dollar). In other words, find a scripture, any scripture that speaks against that situation or that which you fear. And when you feel yourself getting scared, just recite that scripture over and over until that fear goes away. after a while, you'll see how automatic it becomes. Then find a second scripture. And so on and so on.
Do not give in to fear (I am talking to myself right now).

Romans 10:17 (King James Version)
17So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.


Read your Bible to get strength to fight your fears (Corey B interpretation).

Here is a resource that I've been using, biblegateway.com.
You can type in a subject and get all of the scriptures pertaining to that subject. The Amplified versions are the easiest to read, the language is translated into modern terms.

TODAY'S MEDITATION
Today I actually meditated on my fears. It paralyzed me. Literally. I was acting like I didn't know what to do, how to fight my thoughts, it made me angry. I had a frown on my face almost the entire day. Then I got an email from someone expressing their biggest fear, and how it was paralyzing them, How they couldn't eat, or sleep. How they worried and toiled over what they were afraid of. Then IT kicked in. Read HEBREWS 11. So for the rest of my night and tomorrow, I will be meditating on overcoming certain fears and how God repeatedly shows and proves. THANK YOU FOR MY EMAIL!

CHALLENGES/DISTRACTIONS
Fear was a huge challenge for me as I stated. I am equipping my spirit and mind with the proper weapons to fight my fear - Reading/ Listening to the WORD!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

DAY 31- It's NOT about you

While I was in NY this past weekend, it had snowed really bad. They got up to 9 inches of snow. Throughout my last full day there, I had to pick up my father and take him to take care of some business. My pops is over 60 years old, his knees are bad, he has diabetes, high blood pressure, and a few other ailments. Nowadays he walks with a cain. But back about 15 -20 years ago, he had a mean bop! Anyway, I was waiting for him to come outside in the snow. When he finally made it to the car, I noticed he had on some reeboks! I asked him where was his boots? He told me he left them at my house the last time he was here - 2 years ago! I was hurt! I was hurt because I know my dad is a proud man. Back in his day he was FLY for real. Ask anyone who knows him. For this man not to have on boots in this weather was crazy! I looked at my best friend and said, we gotta get my dad some boots!
Later that night, I picked him up from my little brothers house. I have two younger brothers, Matthew-23 and Terrence-18. My brother Matthew has been going thru some hard times because he just lost his job, and his moms has been getting on him. I explained to him that he has to make better decisions, and as long as he is in his mothers home, he has to respect her rules. Now, I asked them both to ride with me as I took my dad to his house. When they got dressed, I noticed that Matthew had on $130 Nike ACG boots, a pair of $80 jeans, a Gucci belt, Ed Hardy hoody, and Sean John Jacket! This kid was fly. So after we dropped my dad off, I couldn't help but address this situation.
I basically told him: "You have on a Gucci belt, and all of that, but your pops ain't got boots on his feet in this weather???? No one called me to tell me that he needed boots or anything!" I explained that he can be fly all he wants, but he still has a responsibility to take care of his family, especially his father! He explained that he head given my father some money over the past few weeks and he didn't know that he needed boots. Then I told him that he can plainly see that he needs boots. Then I said: " What I am about to say to you both, you probably won't get for a couple of years, but I am going to say it anyway. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! What you do, how you live your life...is not about you and what you get accumulate. Its about how you help others. What you do for your people, and your family. The more you give the more people will give back to you. You have to be unselfish!"
They both continues to walk to the car expressionless...but I am sure I got my point across. Once we were in the car, I began to tell them about how I have been out of full time work since June, but I hadn't missed a meal. God has put people in my path to make sure my every need is met, or I have work, or a bill gets paid. I have had people send me money in the mail, JUST BECAUSE they felt inclined to do so. I have had people, three different people to be exact, offer to introduce me to the head of Tyler Perry studios. I have gotten checks that have been way past due pop in my mail box over the pass few weeks. Gotten calls for more shoots. It goes on and on. Most of it has happened since I've started this blog! WOW....I just realized that as I was typing. I keep saying its not about me...and I am in the middle of God's manifestation of that fact. WOW.

TODAY'S MEDITATION
My meditation today has been pretty much the same for the past week. I just want to help somebody. Remember when I was discouraged that my people weren't taking this journey with me...and I felt alone??? well, ever since that post, I have gotten text messages, emails, instant messages, post on my wall on facebook, phone calls...all kinds of communication telling me how they love the blog! How they check it out everyday. Have I posted today yet? THANK YOU'S! Its just been an amazing ride.
I don't normally do this, but I want to share one with you guys. This really got to me earlier. Motivated me in more ways than one!

....wasssup big B - now that you're all thawed out u can hit up your Blogspot !
yo man - there are things that happen to me that make me mad - things that I do make to make others perceive me as a 'Christian' - things I do that are not right and tempt me to feel condemned - your blog - it makes me feel 'normal' - ya feel me bro?

Thank You Johnny! We are all just trying to get it right! And we are NORMAL!!!!!

YESTERDAY'S SUMMARY
Sleeeeeeeep! Just trying to stay awake in the car for the long ride.

CHALLENGES/DISTRACTIONS
Fatigue...I will be back to normal tomorrow.

BUILD - BREAK - BUILD
-I had a positive impact on my man Rips funeral and wake turnout. I had several people tell me that if it wasn't for me, they wouldn't have know.
- I hadn't read my bible in about 5 days...so I must do better with that!
-I got enough money to go buy my dad some boots!

SONG OF THE DAY
I know I've been slacking with the songs, but its been a hectic week. Whats funny is, I know I was in NY too long, because all I can here is BLAME IT ON THE A-aa-a-aa-alcohol, in my freakin head! LOL
With that being said, I will be back shortly with the song of the day....I need to clear out my head -for real.
ALRIGHTY THEN!!!!

"Friend of God" always makes me feel better about things! I hope that it does the same for you!
I'm sure you all are familiar with the song, and if not, you'll know the lyrics by the second time you hear it. Enjoy the tune and feed off of the energy. Have a great day on purpose!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

DAY 30 - MY HEART

My heart goes out to a few people today. My trip was very enlightening as well as inspirational. I mentioned the video project that I am going to do the other day on the blog. Well, I started my research and started gathering my interviewees. I just wanted to let my blog family know what was going on with me, and to join me in prayer for my people.
Kim: You are going to be fine. DO NOT FEAR THE UNKNOWN. There are things that's going to happen that you have absolutely no control over, just roll with the punches. You will be taken care of. Walk in your job with a renewed confidence and make sure you've done everything you possibly can at your job. Make sure you give 100%, and walk in confidence that your 100% is good enough! God knows your heart. Do Not Be Afraid...you hear me!!!!
Your job is NOT your source. God is your source. He shall supply ALL of your needs. Believe it and live your life as such. Plus, you have that little man watching you closely. Show him your confidence. If you need to talk, call me!!!

Mo: I pray that your son is going to be fine. He will adjust to his new treatment, and be you'll be happy you did. You are doing a phenomenal job! There is no disease too strong for the power of God to stop any and all effects. I look forward to the day that this issue is off of your plate and you are reaping your reward for your diligence! I also pray for your strength whenever you get weak. Godly strength.

Big Money: Know that you are a MAN OF GOD at all times. You have displayed so much integrity and genuine love for you boy since day one. You keep surprising me with all of your gifts and talents. Your breakthrough is so close. Not only because of who you are, but because of who you associating yourself with. Imma stay close to you my man, cause you got that glow! Take that much needed family time soon homie. Watch what happens. Things will line up sooner rather than later so WE can get to the next level together. Do not compromise! (i don't know where that one came from, but it is definitely just for you)



Tarsha: You never cease to a maze me. Your heart is bigger that the east is from the west. I am just like you, I wanna save the world. Especially the people are closest to me. Few get as close to me as you! As far as your relationship choice, I believe you already know the answer. Embrace it, and do not be afraid. As far as your career choice, you are in a unique opportunity to choose your next step. Take advantage of this free time to focus on the next step, cause we got a lot of work to do. You can't take care of anyone else until that situation is resolve..the career. You have my support in all areas. You know that already though. The one thing I do know is that you know God. SO give HIM some of your attention too, and let Him direct your path. Listen for your answer..it will come thru another human being. So stay alert. I LOVE YOU!

TODAY'S MEDITATION
It's NOT about you! I have story that I will post tomorrow about this statement. I am in the backseat of my car, cramped up! LOL
Basically, each of us are going thru our situations to be able to help someone else out of their situation. TRUST ME ON THAT!!!! Pray for your people.....
To be continued......

Monday, March 2, 2009

DAY-29 : New Beginnings

Today we put my man Rip to rest. The funeral was short and sweet. Beautiful songs as well. At least 100 people came thru the wake on Sunday and about 50 at the funeral today. The weather was really, really bad. 9 inches of snow. But we made it.
During the funeral, I felt a strong urge to get up and say a few words. LOL
But I didn't. I sat allllll the way in the back, and they started late because of the snow. Everyone else that spoke, took way too long. So I passed.
I did do my morning prayer this morning. I had a nice talk with GOD. However, I did recognize something about my personality that I am not happy with. When I am in NY or around my NY friends, I curse ALOT. Like, almost every sentence. And then. every time I curse, I feel a little poke in my stomach! I know I'm not supposed to. I really don't want too, but it just comes out as a part of regular conversation. Then I started thinking, what else do we compromise when we are around our peers? Do we prayer quieter, or not at all over our food? Do we suppress our relationship with God so others can feel comfortable?
Last night, I had a great conversation with a couple of people over dinner. I had a friend who I hadn't seen since 1989. He told me that he came by the blog and was really surprised and really happy for me. He said that he didn't have the relationship he wanted with GOD, but the blog helped him. Then we all had a conversation about just having a relationship with HIM. It's just amazing to me how GOD puts people in your path at the RIGHT time. Years ago, I was a fool. I couldn't have said anything to him about GOD, nor would he want me too. We were just kids acting silly. Now, its like, he was looking for someone to talk to about how he felt about his relationship, and the blog came right along at the right time.
Talking about GOD over dinner with close friends ....there is nothing like it!

TODAY'S MEDITATION
No More Compromise! - I am a Christian man, and I going to be a Christian Man every day. No more trying to be cool, or not trying to offend. THANK YOU this listen GOD. I am still learning who I am. Thank the Lord that I have time to fix some things!
NO MORE COMPROMISE!!!!

I am making this post a little shorter than usual because moms is making some honey bar-b-q wings. I promise to say my GRACE!!!!!