Monday, May 4, 2009

DAY'S TWO & THREE

WHEW! It has been a rough couple of days people. Ever since I've decided to attack my weaknesses, I've had people get mad at me, misunderstand me, disappear on me (I miss ya"ll by the way), and at the same time , I've had people encourage me, uplift me, and even kick me in the butt to make sure I stay focused. I got these emails a little while ago. They made me immediately come to the blog:

RE: DAY ONE)
What a blessing. Thx for sharing Bro. When you are honest like that, you steal the power from Satan. He has nothing to hold over your head. That's just the beginning of your healing.....TRUST me....I know!
Love ya,
Andrea


You need to know something ..... Very few people have the ability, desire, concern or the sense to want to better themselves. You are already healed. and I repeat... You are already healed.. How Russ?
There was a day... That you didn't give a #$%& about:
-what people thought
-How they felt about you
-What GOD thought...... (that's a deep one)
-How the girl you "HIT" felt when you never called back
-If your steps were in order....etc, because the list can go on.
Now that I have your attention... GOD actually wants you to heal others!!! By your words, you are doing JUST that. By being transparent your are doing JUST that... By sharing, caring and daring, you are doing JUST that. By capturing the "MOMENT" when you take pictures... you are doing JUST that. Your gift is incredible and its about to get better.

Your Big Little Brother, Russ
PS.. Tell Pops I said hello...

God has been really making me deal with ME! Ha....As I write this, I am reflecting on the way I felt this weekend. I felt alone. I know I am changing because the vice's that I used to have to get me through my periods of loneliness no longer appeal to me. WOW. While I was in the middle of it, I couldn't figure it out, but now on the other side, I can see it plainly. I am in the middle of a process. THANK YOU GOD for opening my eyes. I was motivated to write this blog today for several reasons. I did not FEEL like doing it. However, I have recognized that I am at my best when I am here....on the blog.....talking to who ever feels like reading. LOL PURGING.

QUESTION: What do you do when you feel alone or at your lowest point?
I tried to pray, but couldn't find the words. I wanted to pray in tongues, but every time I tried, my stomach hurt and I couldn't open my mouth. Then I figured, since GOD knows everything I am going thru and feeling, I won't bother HIM anyway, I'll just call my best friends. That's what they are there for! So I called them, and couldn't get thru. All road kept leading back to GOD. I finally got thru to my sister Trina. After explaining how I was feeling, the first thing she asked me was, "Did you pray?" I told her I didn't exactly pray...but I just started to talk to HIM, like he was a passenger in my car. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was a form of prayer. I just started talking to GOD and letting HIM know exactly where I was and how I was feeling. Low and behold, I felt better after letting it go. I am truly understanding the saying, "Let go and let GOD." I gave it to HIM and now HE has the responsibility of giving me my hearts desire. That was HIS promise to US.

****
Keeping it 100: I am a spoiled brat!!!! OK..I said it!!!
I want, what I want, when I want it! That was a huge part of this weekend. I have some questions that I need answers to. There is only one person that can give them to me. It just so happens that, this one person I couldn't find all weekend. My brother Destin told me in no uncertain terms, "You are the type of cat that wants answers now. You're upset because you can't get them when you want them. Looks like you can't get them on COREY TIME. You're going to have to be patient!"

So, looks like I have to re-learn the lesson of patience! Thalia...any suggestions? :O)

6 comments:

  1. I am so happy and blessed to be on this journey with you. Thank you for sharing!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Corey, Let go and let God... That has been working for me but it seems like that's not helping me know. I have things in my personal life that I just cant shake and I am at the point of giving up and going back in hiding, but I am tired of going through this test. I know all of this so the question I ask myself is what am I afraid of? Because Fear and Faith can't dwell in the same place.

    Hopefully todays affirmation will help

    Thalia

    Subject: Daily Affirmation for May 4, 2009


    Most of us know the dangers and complications of having a premature baby. When a baby is born too prematurely, their lungs and organs are not developed enough for them to survive outside their mother’s womb. Therefore, no one would consciously pray for a premature baby. Why then, do we ask God to give us something that is too premature to survive outside the realm of His care? Oftentimes we perceive an unanswered prayer as a denial of our request. However, it may not be a “no”, it may just be a “not yet”! “For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay”. Therefore, learn to trust God’s timing. Know that He is perfecting our requests, and it will be worth it in the end! Be Blessed!!!



    Habakkuk 2:3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, you want what you want when you want it... Does not work like that....When you are going thru a purging process. You will feel alone, no one will understand.... I told you before everybody can't go where God is taking you... Trust me I have been there...Like Thalia said delay does not mean denial. Just not in your timing...Patience is everything. I have learned that throughout this process in my life....You have such a peace one you Let Go and Let God....Learn how to trust God in the difficult times. I just want to sit back and watch God work in your life...Philipians 1:6


    God Bless You

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